or at least,
its healthier not to think that.
i mean,
if you are capable of
convincing yourself that it is,
you can probably convince yourself
that it's not.
but i guess its a tempting
reasoning, since there's no real
pattern to who,
or why or how people cease
to exist the way they do.
putting yourself thru' your
self-staged conscience tribunal-
where you charge yourself
guilty,
take your spirit to the gallows
and kill it with guilt -
to make sense of the
sorts of circumstances
destiny shoves into your face,
is unnecessarily punishing.
see: if you decide that
you should qualify
as a reasonably, well-derserving
Good Person,
considering the
greater ratio of Good you've done over
Not-so-good,
you tend not to take it very well
should tragedies befall.
chances are,
you fall out with God,
blame injustice, humanity, society,
for mistreating you,
The Good Person who has done
most things good.
if you are honest
and you have a fairly good memory,
you will rack up all the Wrongs
you have done in this life time,
rate them accordingly,
and by some arithmetic,
conclude that you are The Evil Thing.
you are resigned that
everything that happens is
what you brought upon yourself;
because you are ugly, greedy, envious,
and everything bad.
its easy to believe this-
especially
when you're at a point where
even will cannot bring you any way.
it can probably only give you,
at best,
a graceful departure,
but not exactly the longevity that
most people see as the
indication of a Good Person's
reward from _________.
Death is the inevitably,
premature death, a punishment, then?
besides who's to say
what's premature and whether
lifespan equates quality of one's character?
our insatiable hunger for answers
sometimes murders our
optimism to weather these times.
because we come up with many
plausible answers to questions we
made up on our own-
we become more afraid.
for the convenience,
as i always prefer to live by,
believe that there's a Greater Plan.
nevermind what that Plan is,
believe its for the Greater Good.
so everything comes for a reason-
NEVERMIND WHAT IT IS
(AMBIGUITY IS THE KEY)-
take it like a
dignified, carefree Human Being.
10:31 PM